


With Each Other

by IRegretNothingAndEverything



Series: Commissions [1]
Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happiness, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Full Body Paralysis, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Major Accidents, Major Character Injury, Near Death Experience, Paralysis, Raven lets herself be happy, Taking Care of Someone, Whump, major angst, they're already together Raven just lets herself love properly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29067618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IRegretNothingAndEverything/pseuds/IRegretNothingAndEverything
Summary: After an accident leaves Raven wheelchair bound and unable to move without assistance, she struggles. With Starfire at her side, however, Raven learns to overcome.
Relationships: Raven/Starfire
Series: Commissions [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132670
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	With Each Other

**Author's Note:**

> WOOO  
> I have never written for this fandom before and I don't know how well I did but I hope, fingers crossed, that I caught their tones well enough!!!

Starfire still wondered exactly how different it could have gone if the small little things had changed. It was a small thought experiment that she could work through, sitting alone on the couch in the tower, staring blankly into the middle distance out the window. Small little things changing created the wonderfully named butterfly effect, after all. How different would it have been if it had been her who dived into the ocean water, or Beast Boy, or Robin? How would things have changed, if they had thrown the frisbee just a little bit harder, too far out to reasonably get, or just a little bit softer, so it landed on the sand rather than into the water? 

She sighed. The day had started so good, too. A rare moment to relax for the Titans, to go out as the family they had come to see themselves as, rather than just a team of heroes working together. A bonding activity, that Beast Boy in particular was excited to go to, already chomping at the bit-almost literally, as he had half shifted to have a shark head in the tower before leaving-to go swimming down with whatever animal may be around on the reef near by the beach they were going to. Robin lay both him and Cyborg down with bags, with food and games and Starfire offered to carry some, but then Raven was holding her hand and Cyborg was sending her this knowing look and they ended up not carrying anything down to the beach, Starfire too engrossed with the fact that Raven was holding her hand, that Raven had initiated the contact.

It wasn’t like Raven didn’t like the hugs and the kisses that Starfire drowned her in, it was more the fact that the relationship was new. A budding flower that didn’t have all it’s petals yet, and Raven liked to be careful, always careful, dipping one foot into the pool to test the temperature rather than diving in face first, like Starfire did. Another way they were different, wonderfully perfectly different. Starfire, in that moment, had just gotten excited, just a bit, that Raven was walking the steps into the pool, though the metaphor fell apart after that, even in her head. 

Or maybe Starfire just wasn’t that good at metaphors. Either way. 

The beach wasn’t the most crowded, really, and the people there didn’t pay them too much mind. There were a few kids who got excited upon seeing them, as children always tended to do, but it was easy enough to field them off once they were greeted, easy enough to turn away from their set up spot, given the chance to meet them up front for a moment. All it took was a small display of simple powers, and the kids would run back to their parents with stars in their eyes and laughing, and the titans were left to properly set up.

Beast Boy, of course, ran into the ocean water the moment that he could, disappearing into the waves almost as soon as it touched his skin, and Starfire laughed, Raven sparing a small smirk as he disappeared to the mercy of the waves. They were still holding hands, and Raven felt almost selfish for it. It wasn’t enough to make her let go, not until Robin called out to Starfire, and Cyborg managed to convince Raven to play a game of frisbee with him while he waited for Beast Boy to return. Even then, Starfire only let go after managing to steal a kiss from her, before quite literally floating over to Robin.

The conversation only lasted so long before they too were roped into the game, Beast Boy returning from the water sopping wet but grinning, shaking his head to clear the excess water, gills and fins still shrinking into his body as he became more human like once more, bouncing on his feet over towards the game, catching the frisbee over Raven’s shoulder, tossing it back towards Starfire and sending a wink to Raven, who simply shoved his shoulder with a small smile, and they spread out a bit more, flinging the frisbee between them and laughing.

Cyborg was the one who threw the frisbee when it happened, the plastic disc sailing over Raven’s head and into the water behind her. There was no hesitation, as Raven grinned, a so rare bright large smile on her face. 

“I got it!” And she disappeared into the water, sinking beneath the waves and Starfire smiled, watching for a moment to see where she would resurface. 

And watched. 

And… watched.

Starfire got more and more nervous as time passed, knowing a few things, in the fact that Raven wasn’t the best swimmer, and that she still needed to breathe, and as soon as the thought hit Starfire was running to the water, slipping in after her, barely registering Beast Boy and Robin sinking into the frothing water with her. 

The waves were strong, heavy, and Starfire barely got her bearings before diving deeper, head jerking around quickly, finding the frisbee easily enough as it floating past her upwards, a light enough plastic to float, and Starfire looked down, barely managing to catch where Raven was, her always worn cape being the deciding factor as it surrounded Raven as she sank, and Starfire dived after her, wrapping her arms tight around Raven’s waist and swimming up, up as fast as she could, breaching the water and floating in the air for a moment, arms wrapped tight around Raven as she tore through the air towards the sand, landing less than lightly next to Cyborg, who motioned out towards the water, most likely for Robin and Beast Boy, but Starfire was too focused on Raven 

Raven, who had woken when Starfire grabbed her, hadn’t stirred when they hit the sound, didn’t stir when Starfire patted her cheeks, holding onto her face looking for a sign of life in her, and instead finding blood on the back of her head, down her neck, and she panicked even harder. 

Robin was up near them again just as quickly, settling on Raven’s other side, a hand on Starfire’s arm to center her as best he could in the moment, and Starfire shook. 

It was one of those moments that Starfire felt thankful that they had taken the time to reveal some things about their biology, so that a local hospital near the tower could help, when the Titan’s themselves had no clue what to do, how to fix it, and Raven was taken from Starfire’s arms all without waking.

She still hadn’t woken a few days later, when Starfire curled up in the chair next to Raven’s bed and waited.

Robin eventually forced her to go back to the tower, Beast Boy in tow, stating it would be good for her to get away from the hospital room for a period of time, that she would be told if Raven woke, that they could get there quick enough to see Raven if she did. Either way, Starfire didn’t like leaving Raven for the time, didn’t like sitting at home.

Now, of course, Starfire recognized that Raven’s powers sometimes forced her into the equivalent of a coma, to heal damage done if needed, and that was probably what was going on, but Starfire hated it, how Raven was so unresponsive, hated even more the doctors predictions for when she woke up. 

Raven was so fiercely independent-

“Starfire?” She blinked. The horizon out the tower window came back into clarity, and she turned slightly to look at Beast Boy, who had balanced himself on the back of the couch. “Robin says you can go back soon… I know you don’t like being here like this.” 

“I cannot… help her, Beast Boy.” He nodded slightly, then tilted his head slightly, shifting into a kitten and sliding down the back of the couch, padding over into Starfire’s lap, who welcomed him gratefully, dragging a hand down his back carefully. “I feel as if I should be able to, and yet I am unable. I feel… almost useless.” 

Beast Boy purred in response, the small bundle of warmth and noise that he had become a comfort to her, and Starfire smiled sadly down at him, then turned to stare back out into the middle distance, letting him purr in silence in hope to comfort her. 

* * *

She was there when they brought Raven home, of course she was, Starfire couldn’t be anywhere else, unable to even think about leaving Raven alone in this moment, not unless she asked. Starfire was pretty confident, however, that Raven wouldn’t want to be alone, not right now. Not for awhile. 

They brought her home, Cyborg pushing the wheelchair into the elevator to take them up, Starfire hovering quietly next to them as Raven stared quietly at the doors, a silence that would normally be a comfort to Stafire, knowing it was Raven, but now just worried her, as she took over for Cyborg, who smiled softly at the two of them, at let Starfire take Raven off into her room, carefully and quietly, pushing through the door and settling there for a moment, watching Raven quietly. 

“Starfire…” She blinked, glancing towards Raven as she settled nearby. “... I wanna lay down.” 

Her heart clenched, and Starfire nodded, moving over to lift Raven carefully. Raven remained unmoving, closing her eyes quietly as Starfire settled her in bed, before laying near her, one hand stretched out across Raven’s face, tracing a careful small circle along Raven’s cheek. 

Raven closed her eyes, pressing her face into Starfire’s hand, and Starfire let the silence reign once more, as Raven pretended she wasn’t close to tears, Starfire pretending right along with her. 

It was easier, that way, to pretend. For now, they could pretend, they could pretend it was all okay right now, that nothing was going to change. They could pretend. 

* * *

When Raven woke up, she knew something was wrong. What it was, she couldn’t place, not right when she woke up, not when she was still hazy as she was coming out of the haze that her abilities put her in when she needed to heal. The heavy blanket that covered her mind left her disoriented, and, despite her best efforts, she couldn’t shake it off, couldn’t unbury from the heavy blanket over her mind. 

“Raven!” She barely registered it, barely connected the voice, which was a red flag all on it’s own that she wasn’t aware enough to register, but she knew. Starfire. She tried to reach out, but her arm didn’t move. Raven still hadn’t opened her eyes. “It’s alright, it’s okay.”

A hand hovered on her shoulder, sliding up to hold onto her face, and Raven couldn’t find the energy to turn her head into Starfire’s hand. It didn’t seem like that much mattered to the other, however, since she just kept right on.

“It’s alright, Raven, you’re okay. Relax. There was… a small accident at the beach when we went, it’s okay.” 

Raven was already drifting again, too exhausted to even think about staying awake, but Starfire was there. Starfire would keep her safe, no matter what it was that happened. She was safe, even if she wasn’t entirely sure of what was going on. 

She drifted again, Starfire’s voice a gentle lullaby to her dreams.

* * *

When she woke up for real, it was far more panicked than the first time had been, but Stafire was still there, still had a hand on her cheek, still smothered Raven in the warmth of the stars, and Raven slowly opened her eyes, blinking in the bright white to focus in on the color of Starfire, still bright but in a better, less painful way, a safer way. She tried, so hard, to move her arm up, to reach for her, but nothing happened. She couldn’t feel it, couldn’t feel her body as she tried to get something, anything to respond to her, and Starfire hovered, holding her face in her hands and smiled so sadly at her, and Raven knew what that meant. 

“Starfire…” She could barely talk, her voice rough with disuse from who knows how long she had spent asleep, and Starfire’s smile seemed more genuine, happier, but still with that horrible undercurrent of sadness, and Raven wanted to hold her back, wanted to cup her face like Starfire did hers but. Nothing. 

“I’m right here, Raven. It’s alright. We are still figuring things out, but it’s gonna be okay.” 

She wanted to believe that, but Starfire always had such an unwavering optimism that Raven could never match, no matter how hard she had tried before. 

“Can’t… I can’t move….” 

“I know.” Starfire traced a thumb along the underside of Raven’s eye, that sad little smile barely wavering the entire time. “I know, It’s okay. You, your magic might be able to fix it, Raven, we don’t know.” 

At this point, Raven didn’t either, but she wanted to trust Starfire, she wanted to so badly, and so she did, closing her eyes and turning her head into Starfire’s hand and ignoring the way she couldn’t hold onto Starfire back. 

* * *

She couldn’t move. There was no feeling in most of her body, no movement. There was a chance, a small chance, that she could get some small movement back to her arms, just because of how her powers worked, how they handled injuries, but it was a small chance, basically negligent. If the healing hadn’t taken care of it while she had been passed out, it was highly unlikely it was ever going to. She was completely paralyzed. 

Raven, settled in the backseat, where she stared out the window with Starfire’s arm draped over her shoulders, the wheelchair in the backseat her temporary one, until Cyborg finished whatever it was he was working on, wasn’t really sure how to feel in that moment. There were a lot of things piling up in her mind that she was almost scared to try and sort through in that moment, too many things piling up in her mind that she didn’t want to look at. For the time being, she focused on the feeling of Starfire’s hand curling through her hair, the trees rushing past the window as they drove back to the tower, back home. 

And she lay down, staring at the ceiling, and pretended it was all okay. That was all it was, everything was okay, and it was going to keep being okay. She had to believe that, she had to, because if she didn’t she was going to crumble into pieces, and Raven knew she wouldn’t get back up again. 

* * *

When Starfire woke up again, the one thing she felt lucky about was that Raven was still sleeping, laying in the perfect silence she always lay in when she slept. Starfire didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to leave her alone, not like this, not when they didn’t have a way for Raven to call if she needed help. It wasn’t a good idea, not right now, so Starfire shifted and curled closer to Raven carefully, tracing a careful line around her collarbone, frowning slightly at the bandages still wrapped there. She didn’t like seeing the people she cared about hurt, especially not like this, not when she didn’t know how to help. 

There was a small knock on the door, and Starfire lifted her head slightly, blinking towards the door quietly, before calling out a quiet “Come in.” 

Robin pushed open the door carefully, eyes falling to the two of them. “Hey.” 

“Hello Robin.” 

He moved over, perching carefully on the edge of the bed, and Starfire smiled just barely towards him, knowing it didn’t reach her eyes. Thankfully, Robin didn’t comment on it, didn’t say a word about the sad smile that stretched in place of her normal bright grin. He just smiled back, just as sad, and Starfire returned his decency, and didn’t say anything about it. 

“How are you two feeling?” 

“Raven has yet to wake. I am… alright. Worried for her, as one would expect of me.” 

Robin nodded slightly, leaning against the bed’s footboard, eyes darting to Raven, who slept on as they spoke in quiet voices, trying so hard not to disturb her. “Cyborg sent me up, told me to tell you it’s gonna be another day, but he thinks he’s got it figured out.” 

Starfire hummed softly, tracing a hand across Raven’s hair. “Alright… Thank you, Robin. You are… going to be invaluable, in helping her adjust.” 

“So are you.” He stood at that, patting part of her leg, the only thing really in his reach, and Starfire smiled over at him, as Robin left the room again, shutting the door behind him with a quiet click. From her spot, she could hear him walk down the hall towards the elevator, the soft ding as he called it up marking his progress. Starfire closed her eyes, choosing instead to focus on the soft, just barely there sound of Raven breathing, proof that she was alive, proof that Starfire still had her in her arms, and that’s all she needed at the moment. She would take that small barely there sound and cling to it for the rest of her days, if it meant Raven was going to be there with her the entire way. 

It took another half hour before Raven woke up, blinking away and frowning in slight confusion before the realization rehit, followed by such a quiet gentle sadness, and Starfire hummed softly, leaning forwards and pressing a careful kiss to her cheek. Raven didn’t turn to reciprocate. 

“Morning…” 

Raven turned her head toward Starfire, just for a moment, just to acknowledge that something had been said, before turning back up to stare at the ceiling. Starfire took it. Raven got quiet when things happened, it tracked that she was going to go silent now. 

“Wanna take a shower? I know you probably don’t like the scent of the hospital sticking around.” Raven closed her eyes for a moment, before sighing softly. 

“I… yeah… thanks Starfire.” 

“Of course.” Starfire sat up, moving into the connected bathroom carefully, leaving the door open to be able to hear Raven if she needed anything from her. Raven didn’t make a sound, and it did nothing to reassure Starfire as she started the bath, carefully watching the temperature. She left it running as she moved back into the room, moving over to Raven carefully. Raven smiled up at her quietly, almost sadly, and Starfire tried to smile back, her normal bright smile, but she knew it wasn’t the same, that Raven could tell, as Starfire lifted her up, propped her up against the headboard for a moment to pull her shirt off, and Raven sighed softly. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not going to just… disappear because things are rough, my crow.” 

“Starfire, just because ravens and crows are part of the same family doesn’t mean that nickname makes any sense.” 

It got a smile out of Raven, small but real, and that’s all Starfire had cared about. 

“Well, I like it. I think it fits.” Starfire smiled, then lifted Raven up again, moving into the bathroom with her. Raven frowned slightly, leaning her head into Starfire’s shoulder, closing her eyes. Starfire let her smile fall, sinking down to the floor to slip Raven into the bath water carefully, making sure that she didn’t slip too far in. “I mean, I could call you my corvid, if you’d prefer.” 

Raven huffed a laugh, opening her eyes carefully, and Starfire was quick to smile at her again. Despite that, Starfire knew Raven had caught the look before, and Raven closed her eyes again, letting her head fall back against the wall of the tub. Starfire settled next to the tub carefully, leaning her head on her arms and watching Raven quietly. 

They sat in silence for a good while, before Raven opened her eyes again, meeting Starfires. Starfire smiled, then sat up, leaning over Raven carefully to grab the shampoo from the shelf. 

It took some time, some various maneuvering, but eventually, Starfire was draining the tub, grabbing a towel from the rack at the side. There was a slight struggle there, as they tried to figure out how to go about this, but, in the end, Starfire was setting Raven up against the headboard of the bed, wrapped up in a towel. Raven smiled at her, letting it fall when Starfire turned to go through her dresser. 

She didn’t bring it back up in time for Starfire to turn again, and she knew it. Starfire moved over to her carefully, sitting on the edge of the bed with a stack of clothing, and wrapped her arms around Raven, pulling her close. Raven tucked her head into Starfire’s shoulder quietly, the two of them sitting there together, neither saying a word. 

Raven wouldn’t admit to crying, not yet. Starfire pretended not to notice, of course, as she pulled away again, pressing a kiss to Raven’s forehead. 

Getting Raven dressed was an ordeal, a dance that they didn’t know yet, something they would have to be perfected in time, with practice that they didn’t have yet. Either way, they managed it, and Raven was back in her wheelchair, as Starfire wheeled her out, towards the elevator again. It was quiet, it felt almost too quiet, but Raven didn’t want to break the quiet. She had nothing to say in the moment, nothing but the thoughts she was trying to avoid. 

Starfire didn’t have anything to offer either, the two of them in silence as they rode the elevator down a few floors, into the living room. She settled Raven next to the couch and sat next to her on that side, grabbing the remote from the coffee table and leaning against the arm of the couch. 

“Robin made sure that the shows you like to watch were recorded, so you don’t miss anything.” Raven smiled slightly, glancing towards Starfire, who was very carefully sorting through the various recorded shows. It wasn’t as if Starfire didn’t know what she was doing, but she still had some trouble on occasion, and often times it was faster to pass these things off to someone else, and Raven was about to reach out, to ask her to hand over the remote-

But her hand didn’t move, and Raven remembered all at once the issue. 

She stayed silent, turning her head to frown out the window. The ocean out the window seemed oh so peaceful, shining in the mid morning light, the blue near sparkling in a deceptive gentle peace, and Raven’s frown deepened to a scowl, shaking her head slightly to look back to the TV, as Starfire figured out what she was doing, and started one of Raven’s random documentaries that she had saved, grinning, setting the remote to the side and leaning once more against the arm of the couch. 

It was a more comfortable quiet, but Raven still didn’t like it, not when she couldn’t reach out to hold Starfire’s hand like she used to, not when she couldn’t feel the ache in her bones she knew should have been there, when she thought back to what happened when she had dived for that stupid piece of plastic that would have been so easy to replace, she should be aching, but she couldn’t feel her body, and she wondered if she would have preferred the pain to the nothing. 

On screen, an ant was overtaken by fungus, turned into a zombie to be used for the fungus’s will, and Raven wondered if it hurt the ants, or if they couldn’t feel it, if they just started thinking in a different way than they were used to, if there was nothing where there was supposed to be something. The ant marched off to die for the will of a mushroom, and Raven sighed, and closed her eyes. 

* * *

Raven must have fallen asleep, she must’ve, because she woke to a different documentary playing, something about whales, and a weight draped over her neck. Starfire wasn’t at her side, and she lifted her head carefully, blinking a few times as she looked around, a rather indignant meow causing her to turn her head to the left, watching a green cat jump down from her shoulders and shift mid air into Beast Boy, stretching himself out carefully, grinning at her. 

“Heya Raven. Starfire thought it might be good to let you sleep, it’s supposed to help you heal better. She’s just checking in with Cyborg, didn’t want you waking up alone.” 

The unsaid meaning, the quiet ‘you can’t be alone anymore’ floated in the air, and neither of them acknowledged it, just let it float past unseen and unsaid, but not unheard. 

“How long was I asleep?” Beast Boy shrugged a shoulder, settling himself in the chair on the other side of Raven, though she was farther from it than she was from the couch. 

“I dunno. When I came out to grab something to eat, you were already asleep and Starfire asked me to sit with you until you woke up.” 

“Why were you a cat, then?” Raven turned her head a bit more as Beast Boy laughed, turning himself a bit away from her. 

“Eh, well… Y’know, just figured it might be a comfort. Cats are pretty comforting, after all.” 

For a moment, Raven stared, before quietly accepting that. She didn’t think that it was just for her sake, though, thinking back to how Beast Boy had draped over her shoulders, a single paw resting right on her pulse point. No, the cat shape wasn’t just a comfort for her, though she appreciated it. 

They were still a family, after all. Raven, despite everything she doubted at the moment, didn’t doubt that, couldn’t doubt it. They had all been through so much together at this point, that even this wouldn’t be enough to seperate them, wouldn’t be enough to take them away from Raven. Not when Beast Boy turned himself into a cat just to make sure her heart was still beating under his paws, not when Cyborg didn’t turn up from his room for the entire day, working on something for her, not when Robin made sure she didn’t miss any of the things she wanted to watch. 

Not when Starfire helped her get dressed, helped her bathe, helped her in every way that she possibly could.

There wasn’t a lot even Raven’s current self doubt could say to that. 

The elevator dinged behind her, and Raven turned her head to the side, a bit further than a human would have been able to, though no one showed any discomfort about that, hadn’t in years. In fact, Robin just smiled at her, lifting a hand slightly as he tended to do, nodding towards the two of them. “You two hungry?”

“Always!” 

Raven blinked, before realizing they couldn’t know she had attempted to shrug. She scowled at that again, then sighed. “I should probably eat something.” 

“I’ll get you something easy on the stomach, don’t worry.” Robin smiled, and Raven gave the barest of smiles back to him, an attempt to comfort the leader that fell flat, and she turned back to the show, to watch as a new whale was born into the world, suffocating from the moment that it slipped into the water from the comfort of the womb. She sighed. 

The elevator dinged again, but this time Raven didn’t turn to look, just kept watching the whales on screen, as the mother lifted the newborn calf from the water, to breath it’s first breath of air in it’s young life. Raven smiled slightly. The small thing would live, continue to breathe it’s air as it learned it’s new life, and Raven closed her eyes again, feeling far too much like that newborn whale.

Starfire’s arms draped around her shoulders, hugging her from behind, pressing a careful kiss to the side of her head, to her cheek, and Raven smiled, opening her eyes again, leaning a bit to the side to look at Starfire, take in her bright grin, and her smile became just a tiny bit more real again. 

“Morning, Raven!” 

“It’s.” She paused, glancing to the side, towards the clock on the wall. “Almost two pm.” 

“Well, you just woke up, so it’s like morning for you!” Starfire moved around her, to settle back into her spot on the couch, and Robin didn’t even need a word from her, just kept working on a late lunch for the group, as the music swelled in a heartwarming tune as the whale continued to survive. 

“Beast Boy, come here, you can do things like this.” Beast Boy lifted his head, before flipping over the back of the chair, landing carefully and moving into the kitchen. Raven turned her head to follow him until she couldn’t anymore, then looked towards Starfire, as she became more engrossed in the documentary that it had ended up on. 

After another few moments, Beast Boy circled around Raven’s side, holding a cup in one hand, and- 

“What… in the world is that?” Raven looked up at Beast Boy’s face, who grinned, lifting what seemed to be three or four straws connected to one another to form one larger straw. 

“Comically long straw, the invention made so you can drink from a cup without having to move it!” Beast Boy handed the cup to Starfire, sticking one end of the straw into the smoothie, the other falling over, rather far, hanging almost sadly from the cup. Raven raised an eyebrow, looking back towards Beast Boy, who was still grinning proudly at Raven for the comically long straw. “I don’t know the best placement for that for you to reach it, and if we add more straws it’s probably gonna be very hard to drink out of, but this is right around the perfect size for it to not get too hard, and still be a comically long straw!” 

“Thanks Beast Boy.” Raven smiled at him, as Starfire carefully balanced the smoothie cup on his legs, tilting the straw up to her mouth. It was too long, but taking off one of the straws made it the perfect length. A bit hard to drink out of, but she rather expected that, and at least she didn’t have to ask for a drink every time she wanted one. Raven smiled around the straw at Beast Boy, who was half bouncing next to her and grinned back at her when the straw worked out the way it was supposed to. With that settled, he sat back in his spot, as Robin handed out a few sandwiches to Starfire and Beast Boy, and disappeared into the elevator with another on a plate. If Raven knew anything about the hyperfocus Cyborg could get into, that sandwich wasn’t going to get touched for hours if he wasn’t close to being done yet. Robin still left it down there for him on these occasions, just to try and see if he would break out of it for a moment in order to eat something. 

Raven took another sip of her smoothie, a little stilted through the three straws it had to travel through, but it worked. Strawberries and apples. Raven smiled around the straw. 

* * *

It was late afternoon when the elevator dinged and Cyborg came out, cleaning off parts of the metal exposed along his hands and arms, looking up towards the assembled group. They had moved on by now, to one of Robin’s random shows, and Raven actually found herself rather intrigued by it, though she usually wasn’t one for reality shows. She did turn upon hearing the elevator, but Cyborg didn’t say anything, and Raven turned back to the show again, frowning at it quietly. 

“Cyborg, did you eat?” Robin looked back to Cyborg, who must have nodded, since Robin hummed and went back to watching the show as well. Beast Boy, however, flipped around in his chair, leaning over the back to grin towards Cyborg. 

“I’ve stolen your role as engineer!” Beast Boy grinned, and Cyborg walked over to the couch, leaning over the back or it. 

“Really now?” 

Beast Boy gestured to the table, where the remnants of lunch lay, since none of them had wanted to get up to move everything to the kitchen, and thus, where the comically long straw was, laying partially on one of the plates, since it was too long to stand up straight without flopping over. 

Cyborg looked at it, then sent an unimpressed look towards Beast Boy, who huffed, sliding back down into his chair. 

“Well, I thought it was cool.” 

“Not enough to steal my spot. Anyways, Raven, I’ve got something for you.” 

Raven turned her head, looking up towards Cyborg. “Finally going to show what you’ve been working on this entire time?” 

Cyborg grinned, taking the jab as normal, glancing towards Starfire, who stood, moving around Raven’s chair to hold onto the handles. “Yeah I am. I think you’ll like it. Haven’t just been working on it today, after all.” 

The three of them slipped back into the elevator, taking it down, a lot further than anything else, since Cyborg’s workshop was on one of the lower levels, just to get a good amount of the noise he would make away from the group’s sleeping areas. Cyborg didn’t need as much sleep as most of the rest of the Titans-Robin was the only true human in the group, Beast Boy’s sleeping schedule seemed to connect more to whatever animal he had been last, and Raven and Starfire’s schedules synced and were wildly random at best-so it was better, and usually easier, just to keep his work away from where the Titan’s slept. 

“Now, these things are kind of expensive, and why pay for something when I can make it, and probably better for you specifically than any company could.” Raven glanced to the side towards him, raising an eyebrow. 

“Oh?” 

“It’s a form of motorized wheelchair, meant for people with severe spinal injuries like yours.” Raven blinked once, frowning slightly, as the elevator opened to reveal his workshop, an all black plush wheelchair near where he spent most of his time working. It seemed like any other wheelchair, if bulkier, with a straw around the head rest, and another small add on to the side that Raven couldn’t quite see. 

Starfire moved her over to it carefully, and Cyborg pushed the straw up, so that Starfire could simply lift Raven into the chair, helping situate her carefully. Raven blinked, and Cyborg flicked the straw down. 

“Sip-n-puff.” Cyborg grinned a bit. “That’s all it takes to move it, just some air flow, and you should be able to maneuver around. Cleared out some space down here so you can get to the elevator again, without running into too much.” 

Raven paused, leaning her head back a bit to look at the straw, that was perfect level with her mouth. She hesitated a moment, before carefully sealing her mouth around the straw and breathing out. 

The chair moved forwards a bit, and Raven jumped slightly, almost not expecting to work. Cyborg grinned, always excited to see the things that he made work.

Carefully, learning through both trial and error, and the occasional moment of Cyborg coming in, she managed to learn how to maneuver around on her own, a small grin on her face as she did. As she turned back to face Cyborg and Starfire, the latter of whom was floating in the air with a bright grin on her face, she glanced down to the side. 

“What that… bit on the side, there?” 

Cyborg stood, moving over to lift it up. It looked like a simple hand, really, and she looked between it and Cyborg. “This part isn’t controlled by anything but you and your telekinesis. It might take some work, but it should help give you a bit more independence back.” 

For a moment, Raven just stared at it, before swallowing thickly, trying to hold back more tears that she hadn’t expected coming down here. Quietly, she whispered her phrase, feeling the activation wash over her, and, when Cyborg took his hand away from it, she connected, staring at it quietly. It stayed in the air, a bit shakier than Cyborg had it, and she began to carefully manipulate how it turned, where it went. It wasn’t going to be good for anything that required fine motor skills, she knew that in a heartbeat, but it was still something, giving her just a moment of control back, and she grinned, carefully settling it back down, shaking her head a bit. 

“Cyborg… thank you.” 

He just grinned, leaning down to hug her, and Raven pressed her head into his shoulder, the best she could give to hug him back, before he pulled away. 

“Any adjustments you need at any moment, anything at all, you let me know, got it? I gotta know my stuff works right.” 

“Of course.” Raven grinned slightly, and Cyborg nodded, walking past her towards the elevator. 

“Good. Now come on, Robin’s probably gonna be stealing the TV for a bit, and I want to steal it from him the moment he gets up.” 

The other two laughed, and Raven carefully blew into the straw, rolling back to the elevator, Starfire hovering at her side. 

* * *

When night fell, Raven was exhausted. She didn’t enjoy sleeping the day away, but still healing, she felt ready to drop. Unfortunately for them, however, the group couldn’t sleep. 

Not when the city was being attacked. 

It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, not as uncommon as they wished it would be, but it was enough that they knew how to handle it at this point. 

The alarm woke Raven up rather easily, but all at once, she realized she couldn’t go with them. Beast Boy hopped over the back of the chair, Cyborg and Robin on their feet in seconds to circle around, Starfire flying up, but. She paused, glancing to Raven. 

“Go.” Raven looked up at her, eyes fierce. “Go, I’ll be okay.”

It looked, almost like she was going to argue, but Starfire leaned down, kissing Raven quickly, before flying off towards the others again. 

And Raven was alone. 

For the first time since she had gotten home, she was alone, and, as much as she had wanted a moment of solitude, she couldn’t handle it now. Not now, when her family, her girlfriend, were out there fighting and she was stuck on the sidelines. 

This is what it felt like, being the one left behind? 

Raven huffed, moving closer to the table, narrowing her eyes slightly. “Azarath Metrion Zinthos-” and the remote floated up, over to the extra hand that Cyborg had given on the side of the wheelchair, allowing her to flip through the channels, trying to find any news station that was covering the battle. As much as she knew what it was like, to have someone there trying to film while they were fighting, she was almost thankful for them, almost thankful for the people who never seemed to give up on trying to get a good shot of them, just so that she had that good moment of knowing where they were, what was going on. 

Just so she wasn’t out of the loop, and horribly, horribly alone. 

Raven found one, both luckily and unluckily, since she knew the reporters were in danger, and she didn’t wish that on any innocent, any civilian, but god, she was alone in this tower while her family was out there fighting like they always had and she couldn’t help them, she didn’t know how to help them from here. 

They didn’t need the help, it looked like a rather new villain who didn’t have much time to establish themself as someone, nor did they seem to have enough time to suitably search for who the Titans were and what they could do. An easy battle, one they would return from laughing, since it was unlikely they would ever see that person again, and yet, Raven still sat here, terrified. She wasn’t out there to help them, and sure, she knew her family could handle their own weight, but it was still a moment of terror, still a moment of being so afraid for them that Raven was tempted to try and get to them anyways, despite more likely getting in the way if she did that. 

That didn’t mean the thought didn’t cross her mind, that the thought didn’t linger, that Raven didn’t almost turn the TV off right then to do exactly that.

But, no, she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t, because she still had her powers. She had her healing, and if that’s all she could do now, if that was it, it would be enough, because Raven could still help them, sitting here in this tower alone, she could still help them, she could, and, in the end, that’s all that really mattered wasn’t it? 

They avoided post fight interviews, everytime, they always did, and Raven, as she always had been before, was thankful for it, for them coming straight back home to her and she turned, bumping into the table, and moving to the elevator, and sat in wait, jaw set. 

It dinged, and the doors opened. Raven didn’t let them get a word in edgewise. “Everyone, go sit on the couch.” 

“Raven-” 

“This is what I can do. Sit.” 

Robin stopped trying to argue, sighing softly and moving around her to sit on the couch. Raven stared them down, though no one else tried to argue with her, as they moved to sit on the couch, Cyborg pushing the table a bit away, giving her room to maneuver closer to them, allowing her to look them over properly for injuries.

It made the panic in her calm, and they seemed to realize this. 

Luckily, again, it was a minor battle, one that they barely were hurt from, so she really didn’t have to work that hard, but it was calming, knowing that they were safe from harm, knowing that she made sure about that. 

It wasn’t too long later, they really weren’t injured, that Starfire and Raven were back in Raven’s room, Starfire sorting through Raven’s clothing to find pajamas for her. Raven sat in silence for a moment, before sighing. 

“Starfire… I can’t be here alone like that again.” 

Starfire looked back at her, eyebrows furrowing. Raven shook her head slightly, purposefully not looking at her.

“I’m not asking you or anyone to be here too, that’s not what I’m saying. We can’t be down two Titans already, Starfire, and it’s bad enough that we’re down one. What I am saying…” Raven paused here, before looking up, towards Starfire, who was clutching a nightgown to her chest, so tight that Raven worried for just a moment. “I’m saying we need to find something that I can do here.” Starfire’s grip didn’t relax for another moment, as she walked over to Raven, sitting on the edge of the bed, Raven turning to face her. “Starfire, I can’t do that again, especially not with some of the bigger villains. This guy was… he was small fry, and I was still worried out of my mind that something would happen, and that I wasn’t there to be able to help you. I can’t do that again.” 

“I know, Raven.” Starfire smiled, leaning over and cupping Raven’s face in her hands. “I know. We’ll figure something out, alright? For now, you can just look after us when we return.” 

“I’m still doing that after we get me doing something more active during the fights.” 

Starfire laughed, standing carefully, pushing the straw up and out of Raven’s face so that she could lift her up and onto the bed. “I know, my dove, I know.” 

“That one isn’t even a corvid.” 

Starfire just grinned. 

* * *

They approached Robin the next day about it, the seed of an idea that Raven was going to nurture to life if Robin liked it or not. Luckily enough, Robin seemed to understand that, or at the very least knew better than to fight Raven about it. 

“We can get you set up with something, like a mission control type thing. You’ll still be able to help us that way.” He grinned, and Raven smiled back, nodding slightly. 

“Exactly. Until that’s set up, you all come to me first. I can still heal you afterwards.” 

Robin huffed, but nodded, patting Raven’s shoulder slightly as he went to walk past. “Of course. Wouldn’t have it any other way, Raven.” With that, he walked over to the elevator, probably heading down to talk to Cyborg about the ideas. 

“C’mon Raven!” Starfire grinned, bouncing over towards the kitchen, and Raven followed quietly. “I’m sure Robin left some breakfast for us. If not, I can-” 

“Not cook. Love you, Starfire, but I do not trust you to cook.” 

Starfire half pouted, but conceded easily enough. She had technically been banned from cooking in the past, and, while that ban hadn’t been reinstituted in the past couple months, it was probably still in effect. She just hadn’t gone against it in awhile to attempt to cook anyways. 

There was a reason there were two fire extinguishers in the kitchen on either side, and it was Starfire. 

Luckily, Robin had, in fact, left them breakfast, so Starfire didn’t have to break the rule yet. Raven considered the entire tower lucky.

* * *

“Now, with your healing factor, we don’t know what you could heal from, especially with things like this. You’re different from a human in a way we still aren’t entirely sure the extent of, so we’re going with this based off of a human, and, for a full blood human, this isn’t the kind of injury you recover from.” The doctor was careful about it, as Raven was sure he always was, the news of paralysis to this extent never seemed to be an easy one to give or take. Raven had already expected this, had technically gotten this news before, while she had been in the hospital but now, getting it a second time seemed a bit more overwhelming. 

Starfire set a hand on Raven’s shoulder, and the edge began to soften, just a bit. She had that tendency, to make things a bit easier to swallow, and Raven knew it had been the best choice to ask for her to come along. 

As if Raven could have stopped her if she had tried. 

“I’m gonna be handing over the big part of your care to a physical therapist. They’ll be able to work with you, keep up on if there’s going to be any recovery of feeling and movement, and how fast if so. They’ll also have various ways to help you avoid things like bed sores, which will help you avoid infections a bit easier.” 

There’s more, of course there’s more, but Raven is already tired, and she knows Starfire will remember it all, so she closes her eyes for a moment, and lets the words wash over her instead, let’s it all sink in.

This is her life now. Raven had known this, of course, when she woke up in the hospital the first time, when the doctor had told her with that sad look on their face, she had known, but now it feels more real. Raven doesn’t understand that. She had lived like this for a small period of time, in the tower, but maybe this final confirmation just… added something she hadn’t had before. An understanding, perhaps.

Either way, as Raven followed Starfire out of the office, Starfire pausing to hold open doors behind her, Raven wondered why it felt so final. It wasn’t like they had flat out told her that she would never recover. Even Raven didn’t know the extent of her healing abilities, but, either way. It felt like a final book closing on her, distancing her from the group she had been with nearly her entire life now. 

She knows, of course she knows, that they would never abandon her. They hadn’t at so many of her other low points, and she had given them the safe love and affection that they had passed to her, perhaps in her own ways, but it still felt… different. 

“Raven?” 

She blinked, focusing in, as Starfire paused in front of her, in front of the car. Raven looked to her, and Starfire smiled, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Raven’s lip. 

“I love you. Remember that, alright?” 

Raven smiled at her, soft and quiet. She would, always and forever, remember. She would. Starfire deserved that much. 

* * *

Perhaps it was a coincidence that they returned to Cyborg bouncing on his heels in the garage, waiting for them, but Raven had long since stopped believing in coincidence. 

Cyborg pulled her wheelchair out, unfolding it so that Starfire could lift Raven into it right off, rather than the pause, then grinned at Raven, who raised an eyebrow back at him, and then he was off, trusting them to follow after him, which he was right to do, not just because they wouldn’t leave him hanging when he was so obviously this excited, but also because Raven was curious herself, wondering what had gotten him so excited, though she had a few broad guesses. 

The elevator takes them down, which is new. Before, there wasn’t anything deeper than Cyborg’s workshop, and that was only a floor under the garage, and they went down further, a lot further, and Cyborg just grinned. 

“We figured it would be safer down here, y’know? You’ll need a special card to get down here, we haven’t implemented that yet, but I can get to it tomorrow, I just don’t want to disable the elevator when you still need it, so try and stay somewhere where you can get most things done tomorrow, and I’ll work as fast as I can to get it done-” 

“Cyborg.” Starfire was quiet, but Cyborg nodded. 

“Right, rambling, sorry, anyways. This, Raven, is your workshop.” 

The elevator doors slid open at that moment, and Cyborg gestured for her to go first, and thus, she did, into a large room, a desk with multiple monitors stretched out across it, the light shining across the otherwise dark room, and Cyborg grinned. 

“The desk isn’t decorated yet, but you and Starfire can do that. My job is the electronics, and let me tell you, this was a beauty to work on for the past week.” Cyborg let her go first, but was still so obviously excited about it, Raven moving into the spot around the desk. Something clicked under her and she jerked a bit, Cyborg moving up near her quickly. “Don’t worry, just the chair locking into place. It’s easier, quicker like this I think, though if you don’t think so, let me know and I can change it, it shouldn't be too hard to accomplish.” 

Raven was still quiet, but still shifted, blowing into the straw carefully, and it rolled sideways along the line of screens. She glanced towards Cyborg, who gestured to the couple signs, that she hadn’t noticed at first, with various diagrams of eyes, showcasing movement. 

“Everything is controlled by your gaze. The cameras are on, to focus on your eyes, which means that you can control the screen. Everything I could think of has an analog to your controls. Any text you just say out loud, and everything else is all eye movements. It was a lot of programming, and getting the reaction time down as hell, but me and Robin got it, and it all works.” 

Raven nodded, eyes darting towards the key once more, carefully copying a few of the movements she saw. This would take some getting used to, she was sure, but she could figure it out, she was sure of it. “Thank you, Cyborg.” 

“Of course, mission control.” Cyborg grinned, then leaned over. “I’ve designed some fun trackers, which we’ll attempt to get onto villains if they seem like they’re gonna run off, and if that happens, they’re gonna snap onto them and it’s gonna lead us either to them, or their base, whichever it ends up being. That’s part of your job, to keep track of them. Research on the fly is gonna help a lot too, so you’ve got a good amount of work down here.” 

Cyborg grinned at her, and Raven paused for a moment, before smiling back at him, a relief settling into her bones carefully, a safety that she knew that this family would keep supplying for years to come. She was useful again, she wasn’t going to have to sit by and watch them in news casters that weren’t supposed to be there, wouldn’t have to feel the dichotomy of wanting to know they were okay while also worrying for the civilians in the way. 

“Thank you, Cyborg.” Raven said softly, and Cyborg grinned, leaning over and hugging her carefully. 

* * *

Eventually… it was safe. Not as safe, of course, but a new safety, a warm safety that Raven was glad to have found. Starfire, of course, with her warm words and warm arms, the safety she had always represented, that Raven had so recently allowed herself to indulge in, was one of the biggest helps. Starfire, bright and warm, kept her up, kept her going, kept her alive in a way that Raven hadn’t realized for a while that she was in danger of losing, not until she had gotten back into her grip again safely, and Starfire had taken a breath, and relaxed, and Raven smiled at her again, a real bright smile, and Starfire hadn’t been able to stop herself from kissing Raven, again and again, laughing the entire time, bright and jovial, and Raven was safe. 

She was safe, and home, and warm, and it was perfect. 

Nearly, at the very least. Struggle was not lost on her, it was something that was never going to be lost on her, Raven knew it well, even more than she had before. 

But either way.

Raven rolled across the grass, a careful path picked to avoid the most people as possible, to the park bench near where Starfire had come by earlier to set up, Beast Boy taking guard as a squirrel in the nearby trees, leaving when they came by, letting them have their date without his interference, which is a new thing, really, since he enjoyed crashing anything that had food he could eat.

Here, and now, with all of this out of the way, Starfire settled onto the bench, Raven settling her chair next to the picnic bench, Starfire lifting a cup to her lips in a careful practiced motion, having long since learned that long journeys dried Raven’s mouth out rather quickly. Raven smiled, taking a careful sip from the straw in the cup, leaning her head back against the headrest again. 

“You feel better in the sun, don’t you?” Starfire teased, and Raven laughed, brighter than she remembered doing in a good while, and Raven nodded, giving that to her, but couldn’t help the jab that came after.

“I do prefer my dark rooms, though, my star.” Starfire grinned, nodding as well, giving that to her back, a trade off of truths they both understood but still teased the other about. 

The sun was out, but it wasn’t just sun, clouds dotting the sky and Raven tilted her head up a bit, to stare into the sky, and towards the clouds, and Starfire smiled, tilting her head back down to kiss her carefully again, a gentle moment and Raven smiled into it. 

“You are amazing.” Starfire murmured, and Raven laughed softly. 

“What’s gotten into you today?” 

Starfire shrugged, grinning, turning her head, a bit too fast as her braided hair flipped around to land on her shoulder, sorting through the picnic basket to get their food out, setting it out in front of them carefully. Raven watched in quiet, smiling to herself. 

There was something about it, now, that didn’t seem so big. It was hard, and heavy, and so much work to carry on her shoulders, but here and now, it was small, barely a blip on her rader, the safety of her home, her love, that forced her to relax again. Raven just smiled, watching Starfire hum a little song as she set out of the food and made it look all nice, as if they were going to be eating it seconds later. It was something like that, with Starfire, always doing something that seemed frivolous and unneeded, but always made someone smile, that had Raven falling in love with her in the first place. 

She could say it now. It was a newer development, made from late nights curled up together, Raven almost in tears and Starfire’s arms wrapped so tight around her, so protective, as if Starfire could face down every enemy that came at them and win all for the love of Raven, and Raven had to tell her how much it had meant at the words slipped out all without meaning to, and Raven knew they were real and Raven knew it was right, and safe, and her smile only grew at the thought of it all, and Starfire settled back into her seat carefully, folding one leg underneath herself to turn towards Raven, her own gentle smile gracing her face.

“Ready for lunch, my swan?” Starfire grinned at her all cheesy, and Raven laughed, because of course she did, with Starfire grinning at her like that over another stupid bird nickname that would likely never be repeated, because none of them ever were, they were all new and random, and Starfire was going to have to fall into the weirder bird names eventually, Raven knew, and she looked forewards to the day that Starfire would pull out a bird name that sounded like an insult and Raven would just laugh, because this was love. It was love, and she had found it, she had found it against all odds against her, because Starfire was there, and Starfire was always going to be there.

“Ready if you are.” She grinned back, and Starfire smiled, lifting a bite of sushi to her own mouth first, before lifting a second into the air by the chopsticks, turning herself to Raven and held it out to her, and Raven paused for a moment, a content happiness curling around her lungs and her heart and her soul, connecting everything all together in a brilliant warmth.

This was safe. This was safe, this was home, this is where she belonged. Raven knew that now, a settling realization that had taken her far too long to realize and accept into her life, because there was something that held her back, and now, free from it, she didn’t know what had stopped her days before, perhaps even yesterday when the team and curled on the couch, and Raven had lay across Starfire’s chest and all but purred while Starfire clung to her, even then she might not have been able to admit to it, but now, for whatever reason, she could, she could now, because now she could look at it and feel worthy of it.

Now, with Starfire smiling at her, holding out a little sushi roll to her lips, Raven felt all at once that she knew, this was where she belonged. With Starfire, warmth settling into their skin from the sun, and Raven smiled, carefully leaning forwards and taking the sushi roll into her mouth, smiling around the chopsticks and feeling unapologetically loved. 

**Author's Note:**

> GOD This took forever to write and I am actually pretty proud of it 
> 
> Check out my tumblr (diieanywhereelse) for info on commissions and such!


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